FINALLY, it’s my turn. i mean, clearly i am the favorite around here.
my name is tres. as in the number. my brothers uno and dos came to live in this house with me. unfortunately. dos is a butthead. i may be the baby, but i am by far the toughest pett in the dorr house. i stand guard in front and fight off enemies. mainly, the neighborhood cat who doesn’t have a tail. he’s a butthead, too.
sometimes i like to go on adventures for days at a time and make my parents worry. i come home while they are asleep or gone, but i like to make them worry. when i finally do make an appearance they treat me like royalty and let me sleep in their bed and give me treats. as i write this, i’ve been avoiding the house for about two days, so when i came back my mom petted me a whole lot and then trapped me in the bedroom so i can’t leave again. she left her laptop in here, and her password was eeeeeasy to figure out.
my dad used to make me wear this giant thing on my neck. i hated it. it totally interfered with my bathtime. this thing told my dad where i was at all times, and he would come and find me. i guess it wasn’t so bad though, since he came and found me while i was stuck in a raccoon trap.
i mentioned before that my bro dos is a butthead. that’s because he likes to chase me around the house. i hiss and growl at him, but it just amuses him. i can’t win. dos is also super fat, and uno is kind of fat. i like to stay skinny by getting my exercise when i roam the neighborhood and hunt in the woods. and of course, dos usually eats all the food so i don’t really need to worry about overeating.
speaking of hunting, i am so excited that spring is coming. this means i will be able to find all kinds of little animals to bring home. lizards, chipmunks, and mice (my fav!), but i’m pretty sure my mom doesn’t really appreciate my efforts. when i brought home the chipmunk and lizard she screamed a lot. the mice she didn’t seem to mind too much, because i killed them first, but she really needs to work on her hunting skillz.
i look supercool. i have scars and scabs and you can take one look at me and know i’m tough. i’m thinking about getting an eye patch just for the fun of it. no one would mess with me then. but i don’t want to lose an eye or anything. i need to be able to see when that tailless cat is around.
Mom’s coming back! I gotta go! I’m going to try to escape so I can go hunting!