It’s hard to believe it, but one year has passed (okay, a year and a few days) since I married Tim Dorr.
What I’ve learned after a year:
Your wedding is not the best day of your life.
Yes, I said it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great day, and one you’ll remember for the rest of your life, but it’s not the best day. The best days will follow.
You’ll need to learn how to fight. Again.
Because we’re people, and we constantly change. Our relationships and their dynamics constantly change. You’ll need to learn how to argue, compromise, and make up all over again. And again.
Communication is different for everyone.
Some people yell, some people can’t take yelling, and some people need time to figure out their words.
Sometimes, you need to let them win.
Even if it doesn’t work with what you want. Compromise doesn’t always happen. You can’t always meet in the middle.
Love language is a real thing.
And you’ll need to recognize how your spouse shows you he/she loves you, and the best way to show your spouse you love them. Yes, you’ll both need to make that extra effort.
Love isn’t about grand gestures.
It’s all about support and being best friends (YES YOUR SPOUSE CAN BE YOUR BEST FRIEND). Even a jerk who doesn’t love you can dress up in a tux and shower you with roses and make a public declaration that you are THE ONE. What matters is your every day relationship.
Share your life, but not your identity.
Because you don’t need two of you. You already have one. And if you lose yourself in your relationship, you’ll lose the person your spouse fell in love with.
My husband loves to watch Star Trek, and I need to accept that.
I did marry a nerd, after all.
What have you learned from your relationships?
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