This is part 1 of our TTC journey.
No, I’m not pregnant.
Tim and I have been trying to get pregnant.
Of last year.
This officially puts us in the “infertility” category, along with anyone else who has been trying, without success, for a year.
Now, before you pick up the phone or ask “WHY didn’t you tell me,” just trust me… It’s not you, it’s me. There hasn’t been a pregnancy, therefore no cute announcement à la pinterest. I didn’t want it to hijack every day conversation. I still don’t really want to talk about it (unless it’s on my terms) or answer a billion questions when I’m not prepared to. It’s not easy to talk about, and sometimes the thought of it brings me to tears. So, close friends and family, I beg you to keep this in mind when you’re talking to me outside of this safe blog space that is mine.
So. I guess I’ll start at the beginning then…
In January 2013, five months after Tim and I got engaged, we made the joint decision: I’d stop taking birth control. This was not because we wanted to get pregnant before our wedding, but because we knew it can take the body a few months to regulate, and we wanted to start trying as soon as we got married (again, a joint decision). Also, Tim said the pill made me an angry/stabby person. I guess I’ll just trust him on that one.
While we were engaged, we heard a lot of “Enjoy being married, just the two of you!” And really, who doesn’t love unsolicited advice? I’m not sure why some people were so quick to discourage us from having children early on. It’s not as though we were particularly young (26 and 31 when we got married). Tim and I knew what we were doing, though. We knew we wanted to start a family as soon as we could. This wasn’t just me. Want proof? Just look at Tim’s face while he’s holding babies:
This is the face of a guy who wants babies. And for anyone reading who’s surprised by this, why did you think Tim owned so many pets?
At first, timing didn’t seem to work out for us. In August, the month of our wedding, I didn’t even have a cycle. This wasn’t too shocking, because wedding stress can do that to a girl, but it was kind of disappointing. I traveled in October without Tim, at the exact moment I happened to ovulate. It was then I realized I needed to pay attention to the calendar. The idea of having to change plans around just to accommodate my ovulation and possible future pregnancy was incredibly stressful, but I hoped I wouldn’t have to do so for long.
It was in these first few months which I understood “trying” can be really hard. It puts a strain on your relationship and your every day life. Even so, it was only a few months, so I couldn’t complain too much at the time.
I went in for my annual exam in November 2013 (get your annual exam!), and talked with my doctor in detail about trying to conceive. He gave me a few tips, explained a few things, and we talked about medications I was on. We had a game plan: I’d use ovulation predictor kits, start taking prenatal vitamins, and hopefully come back into the office within a few months with a positive pregnancy test. I left the office that day really excited, optimistic, and full of daydreams.
Unfortunately, I went back to the doctor a few weeks later… With no positive.
To be continued…
Read part 2 of our TTC journey here.
What’s your #1 beauty tip?
I think that less is more. So don’t use super heavy foundation if you have perfect skin, and don’t over pluck your eyebrows when they aren’t crazy looking to begin with.
If you could only use one beauty product for a month, what would it be?
It would probably have to be my Kiehl’s BB cream, because I like the way it makes my skin look and feel. It also has 50SPF so it provides great protection.
What is your favorite book you’ve read this year?
That’s a tough question, because I honestly can’t even remember some of the books I’ve read. BUT I do remember reading “Gone Girl” in the spring, so that is by far one of the best books I’ve read this year!
How did you get engaged?
My sweet fiancé proposed to me on top of the CN tower in Toronto. If you want a more detailed account of that day you can read it here.