People love to compare. We love to look at each others’ lives, and say, “HA! Mine is so much better!” But what do these comparisons do for us? Why can’t we just focus on our own lives, and be happy they’re awesome?
It seems as though this comparison epidemic is even stronger in the TTC/pregnancy/mom world.
Over the summer, while I was at a baby shower, a very sweet acquaintance asked me if being there was hard for me. This acquaintance is a mom, of a good handful of children, and I’d already dropped a huge giant hint: Tim and I wanted kids, and soon. It was obvious. What I hadn’t shared was, I’d already cried over my fair share of negative pregnancy tests. But I think she knew, anyway.
The truth is, the baby shower wasn’t really hard for me. Baby bumps, seeing babies, and even newborn pictures taking up massive real estate in my Facebook news feed don’t bother me. Sure, it might make me a little mushy at times — until you try to hand me the baby. I don’t know what to do with them, y’all. How do I hold them?
I would love to say no one else’s life ever makes me envious. I would love to say I never feel a pang or a lump in my throat, but it would be a lie. I’ll be honest.
You know what gets me? Pregnancy announcements.
I guess this is simply because someone else was able to get pregnant, and I haven’t been able to. It’s not as though I’m not genuinely happy for parents-to-be, or I wish they weren’t pregnant. I fully realize someone else’s pregnancy has nothing to do with my lack of a second pink line. It’s just a reminder my body isn’t doing what it’s supposed to be doing, and it’s hard.
It doesn’t mean I’m going to hide anyone’s ultrasound pictures or scoff every time I see another announcement. I might let a little sigh escape, shed a few happy/emotional tears, and hope maybe our kids will be close in age.
I told my friend the other day, it’s kind of like when someone else gets to go to a concert you’d love to go to, but for whatever reason, you can’t. You really hope they have a lot of fun, but a small part of you is like “Dang, I’m missing out on something awesome.” It’s not enough to make me break down sobbing, because what’s happening in their life has nothing to do with mine.
I don’t like to compare my life to others’. I don’t think it’s healthy. This little lump in my throat is never me wishing I had someone else’s life; I just want to celebrate a new life in my family, too.
What is your favorite crafty project so far?
My favorite crafty project is definitely the T-shirt quilt that I made for myself! It was such a great way to preserve my favorite T-shirts from high school and college. This was the first time I had attempted a quilting project, and I’m really proud of how it turned out!
What’s your favorite part of the holiday season?
There are so many things about the holiday season that I love! One of my favorite parts is how excited my dog, Lucky, gets when it’s his turn to open a present. He howls constantly and paws the paper right off! I also love baking Christmas cookies, decorating my tree, and celebrating my family’s holiday traditions.
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