I haven’t been a big fan of the term “best friend” since third grade. Two of my friends, both who I’d known for years, and spent all my recess time with, stood in front of me as I sat on a swing, and asked me, “Which one of us is your best friend?” And I was required to rank them, just like we all did in the early 2000s with our MySpace Top 8.
As adults, I hope we’ve outgrown this. I find myself more often describing someone as “one of my best friends” or even calling multiple people my best friend. I’m sure many people can only identify one friend as the best, but I don’t think anyone should be required to pick just one, either. And even moreso, I don’t think anyone else should be able to dictate to me who and what gender my best friend has to be.
This is why, when I come across articles and posts declaring “I didn’t marry my best friend” or even “Newslfash: Your Boyfriend is not Your Best Friend“, I can’t help but roll my eyes. It’s fine if your significant other isn’t your best friend; you will get no judgement from me. But don’t stand on your soapbox and tell everyone else what is and isn’t okay for their relationships, which you know absolutely nothing about.
I don’t think, for most females, a boyfriend or husband can take the place of a good solid girl friend. After all, my husband does not know firsthand what it is like to be a girl. But then, some of my closest female friends can’t relate to many of my “female troubles”, either. In fact, many females I know just plain don’t understand me. And that’s okay. You can be friends with people who don’t completely understand you. That’s why you should have more than one friend. We all have different experiences, and chances are, no one person is going to fully “get it”.
Any friend of mine who’s going to feel “demoted” just because I decide to call the guy I committed my life to a best friend? They can take a hike. There is no reason to compete for the #1 spot.
Being someone’s life partner and spouse means being emotionally supportive. In order to be emotionally supportive, you have to do your best to understand your partner. This is a good thing. I feel sorry for anyone whose spouse does not even attempt to understand how they feel.
It’s also a good thing to have similar interests as your spouse. No, it’s not required for a healthy relationship, but it sure makes spending time together easier, even if it’s just a mutual love of Netflix binges.
So friends, no matter how cheesy it is, don’t be afraid to declare your boyfriend/husband/fiance your best friend — or better yet, one of them.