96 days to go.
96 days, give or take a few, until life as we know it totally changes.
My due date is fast-approaching, and I often find myself just picturing what life will be like. I know I won’t really have any clue, and it will all take me by surprise, but there are a few things that make me nervous at the moment.
Dropping the baby
I’m pretty sure this is fairly normal. I mean, newborns are SO SMALL. I can barely get myself up and down the stairs without falling, so what happens when you add a baby in my arms? This has been a fear of mine since before we even got pregnant, but it has decreased some over time, especially when I can feel her moving.
As someone with a history of depression and anxiety, I know this is a very possible reality. I know I’ll need to pay attention to myself and watch for signs… And so will Tim.
Yes, I know it’s going to happen. I also know I’ll live, somehow. But I currently can’t function with any less than eight hours of sleep, and the thought of doing it anyway is very unsettling. Also, I don’t like coffee. How will I deal? Will I learn to like coffee?
Lack of mom friends
I don’t have just a lot of mom friends — and even fewer friends who are going to be new moms who live close by. The logical part of my brain says this will resolve itself with time. The worried part says I’ll have no one close by to relate to.
…Not so much weight. I’m used to dealing with that. But breastfeeding freaks me out. A lot. We’ll see how long I last there.
Being a planner, I can’t help but wonder: What will I do all day? The consensus seems to be “survive”, but I need details. Someone tell me what to do, hour by hour, please. Give me your mom schedule.
This may seem like I’m just terrified of everything. But I’m not. I’m not scared of giving birth (ask me how I feel about this when it’s about to happen). I’m not even scared of too much “alone” or no adult time.
Most of all, I’m just really excited for Charlotte to be here.