Most of you, by now, have picked up on the fact that it took my husband and I much longer than we expected to have children.
Tim and I agreed early on, while we were engaged, I would stay home with our future children. We also agreed there was no real point in trying to find a job closer to my new home, as I’d probably just have to quit it soon anyway (we were wrong).
This led me into the awkward stage of being a childless, unemployed homemaker. I mean, I could call myself a dog and cat mom, but that was about it. It’s not what I really wanted, or what I expected long-term, but it’s what happened. And more recently, it’s even been a relief — balancing infertility treatments and a full time job is extremely difficult for some.
But it is awkward.
One of the first things people ask when they meet you is, “What do you do?” I assume they aren’t wanting to know how many times I let the cats in and out of the front door (at least 34), how often I mop the kitchen, or how many times I went to Target last week (at least 34). I’m left with few words. “I don’t work.” “I’m a homemaker.” “I’m unemployed.”
For awhile, I tried to make blogging sound like my job. But I don’t like that. And most people don’t really understand what that means, either. They’re often assuming I’m doing nothing all day, regardless of what I tell them, because I don’t have an official job title with an official company I can put on my LinkedIn profile.
I think this is something stay at home moms deal with, too. The judgement from other people. The assumption that you’re doing nothing but watching Netflix all day (reality: I’m multitasking while watching Netflix). The skepticism of whether or not your husband is okay with you not ‘pulling your weight’ financially.
As I leave the “stay at home wife” title behind, and embrace the more complicated “stay at home mom” status in just a month, I have a few words of wisdom for you few childless stay at home wives.